A guy walks into a bar and says "Gimmy a double". The bartender pours a double and the little guy drinks it right down and demands another. The bartender pours again, picks up the guy’s money, and heads for the cash register. He gets about half way there when he hears a banging on the bar. The little guy again tells him to fill it up. The bartender reluctantly does so. Then asks, "What's the problem?"
The patron says, "Just leave me alone and give me more whiskey!" The bartender tells him that he can not keep feeding him whiskey at this rate because he will become intoxicated and the bartender will be responsible for him. The little guy says, “Don’t give a bunch of shit I am already pissed off just give me another drink!” The bartender tells him that he won't unless he tells him why he is so pissed off. The little guy agrees. The bartender pours a drink and waits. The little guy picks up the drink looks at the bartender and takes a little sip. Then he starts to talk. "It all started in here last night. I was sitting at the other end of the bar when I noticed this beautiful woman just down from me. I bought her a drink and we talked for a while. She looked at her watch and said 'Oh my it's late I must be getting home would you like to come with me?'. The bartender said, “What did you say? That shouldn’t piss you off".
"I said yes of course, do you think I am crazy." What happen next asked the bartender? "We went to her apartment just a round the corner. When we got inside she asked me if I wanted a drink and I said sure I do!" Sounds good so far said the bartender. "Sure it does." said the little man. "After a while we were getting close when she looked at the clock and said "My goodness it's late I must go to bed, would you like to come with me?" Wow said the bartender what did you do? "I told you I am not crazy I said why sure I would. We got into the bed and just about to get it on when she heard a noise and said 'Oh my god it's my husband you must hide or he will kill you!' Holly shit said the bartender that would piss me off. "No it didn’t piss me off but I was scared" said the little man. "She said quick hide in the closet". What did you do,” asked the bartender. "I TOLD you I’m not crazy I didn’t get into the closet instead I jumped out of the window and hung onto the window sill. The bartender was spell bound, what happened next? "Well that big son of a bitch came into the room and walked right over to the window and found me". Wow the bartender said that would piss me off. "No it didn’t piss me off but I was really scared". Then what happened, asked the bartender? "That big son of a bitch stuck the plumbers helper in my face". Now that would piss me off said the bartender. "No, it didn’t piss me off but I damn near suffocated. Then the big bastard pissed right in my face!" “Now that would piss me off” said the bartender. "No, it didn’t piss me off but it stunk like hell. Then that big prick slammed the window on my fingers". That would definitely piss me off said the bartender. "No, it didn’t piss me off but it hurt like hell" said the little man. My god man what does it take to piss you off.
"What really pissed me off was when I looked over my shoulder and found out my feet were only six inches off the damn ground".
Labels: bitch jokes
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