A liberal and the conservatives

A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?"

The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune."

The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share."

The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?"

"I would like a new sports car."

"O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?"

"I'd like a million dollars."

"O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?"

"Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."

Mugabe and refugees problem

Mugabe dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and he does not belong in heaven.

Mugabe must go to hell.

So Mugabe goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Mugabe notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says "No problem, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff.

When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked St. Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do.

Finally one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage.


As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My Lord, look at that! Mugabe has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!

A unique presidential clock!

Bill Clinton was assigned a new intern named Sally. Being the polite gentleman he is, Bill asked, "Have you seen the Presidential clock yet?"

Sally replied, "I haven't even heard of the presidential clock." Bill then replied, " Well let's go to my office, so I can show it to you." Sally was a little taken aback, and she stated, "With all the problems you've had lately, I don't think we should."

Then Bill said, "Ahh, it's just a clock, and I promise I won't try anything." Sally then agrees to go with him. Bill leads her to the Oval Office, shuts and locks the door behind them, and then drops his pants to the floor. Sally is flabbergasted, and says, "Mr. President, that is the Presidential co ck, not the Presidential clock."

Bill looks at her and says, "Sally, by my definition, if you put two hands and a face on it, it's a clock.