You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.
In the next life, you’ll blaze a way for us.
You are master in your own house — the doghouse!
When you die, I’d like to go to your funeral, but I’ll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.
Believe me, I don’t want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested.
Some day you will find yourself — and wish that you hadn’t.
People clap when they see you — their hands over their eyes or ears.
Whatever is eating you — must be suffering horribly.
Why don’t you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
You have an inferiority complex — and it’s fully justified.
You are not as bad as people say — you are worse!
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Whom am I calling “stupid”? I don’t know. What’s your name?
Take a vacation; go to Club Dead.
Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.
You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
I’ve hated your looks from the stare they gave me.
Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?
Moonlight becomes you — total darkness even more!
Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn’t turn out. You could be seen too clearly.
So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word]; a long time ago.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one.
The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you’ll windup with lockjaw.
I you are in your right mind, I hope you go insane!
If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
