Little Johnny's beautiful sentence

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said. “Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just fucking beautiful!

Little Johnny's gender troubles

One day Little Johnny came home from school with a note pinned to his shirt. The note read: Dear parent, apparently Little Johnny has been having some trouble with telling the difference between girls and boys. Please sit down with him and explain this. Signed, Little Johnny’s teacher.

After reading the note Little Johnny’s mom took him into her room and shut the door.

“Okay Little Johnny,” his mother said. “First take off my high heels. Then take off my panty hose. Then take off my dress. Now take off my bra and panties.

NOW NEVER WEAR MY CLOTHES TO SCHOOL AGAIN!"

Little Johnny's new baby brother

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.

He asked his mom, “Where'd we get him?”

His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”

Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

Johnny and the psychology teacher

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Homework eating dog!

"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.

"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.

"Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!

Naughty students

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard.

Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny, Pat?”

“I just saw one of your garters!”

“Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days!”

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.

Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.

She quickly turns and asks, “What’s so funny, Billy?”

“I just saw both of your garters!”

Again, she yells, “Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don’t want to see you for three weeks!”

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up.

This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asks.

“From what I just saw, my school days are over!”