The urge!

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert .

During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.

He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges.
That's why we have Molly The Camel.

The Captain said,
'I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the 'urges', so the camel can stay.'

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'.

Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and makes passionate love to the camel.

When he's done, he asked the Sergeant,
'Is that how the men do it?'

'No sir.
They usually just ride the camel into town.
That's where the girls are."

May I see the baby now?

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!!!'

Wedding anniversary date!


"Door-to-door Salesmen"



In Las Vegas, Nevada, salesmen Arnold and Lee were selling their vacuum cleaners and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.

She told them in no uncertain terms, that she did not want to hear their presentation and slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. This time she really put her back into it and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young salesmen were sticking their foot in the door she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson when Arnold said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."


"Olympic Troubles"

At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. "Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?" "Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?"