Putin called Obama to congratulate him on winning the second term and requested help with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. “This is a true disaster!" "Mr Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,' replied the President. "I do need help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 100,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favour, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10” long and 3” in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President and, with that, Obama hung up and called the President of condom company, "I need a favour, you've got to send 100,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the President of condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, 10” long and 3” in diameter." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in USA, Size: Small' on each one.