You're going to lose ALL your friends

JACK was having a lousy day at work, so he decided to call it quits and go home early ... and caught his wife in bed with his best friend.

Furious, he hauled him out of the bed, landed a right uppercut, threw him down the stairs, then picked him up by the scruff of his neck and threw him out the front door.

His wife fixed him with a baleful glare. "You know," she said, "If you carry on like this, you're going to lose ALL your friends."