Funny romantic poems

The Washington Post ran a contest in which readers were asked to write a two-line romantic poem with the second line being as un-romantic as the first line was romantic.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife;

Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other;

That is, until I met your brother.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off your face.

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.