Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up
the iron and stuck it to my ear."
" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.
He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer: "Okay, how about this, if you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?"
Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, "What size farm do you have?"
The Englishman proudly announced, "Thirty-five acres!"
"Thirty-five acres?" the Texan scoffed. "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. I can eat lunch and start driving again and at 5:00 PM I am still on my farm.
"Ah, yes," the Englishman nodded in understanding. "I had a truck like that once."
New lightened variant:
“Cialis soft tab “. Simply want to kiss!
New escalated variant:
“Cialis plus”. Acts even at home!
- Did you hear about lethal upshot after taking Cialis?
- Yes, I heard. It was when one man taken 12 cialis pills at one time…
- And what happened?
- His wife died.
The new computer program “Cialis” will easy transform your flexible diskette into a hard disk!
An older man asks his doctor to make out a prescription for a new medicine - Cialis.
“Well, - agrees his doctor, - I will draw a prescription, but with one condition: You’ll come to me next week and will tell me about your wife’s response”.
Seven days later that man comes up for doctor’s cabinet.
“Well, what is your wife’s response?” – asks his doctor.
“While nothing, - answers the patient, - I wasn’t at home yet”.
There was a fence that divided Heaven from Hell. One day God notices that the devil's side is in pretty bad shape. It is falling down, badly in need of paint, weeds growing up around it, etc.
So, God hollers over the fence, “Hey Satan, why don't you fix up your side of the fence?”
Satan hollers back, “Why don't you mind your own business.”
So God says, “I'll hire a lawyer and sue you if you don't.”
The devil replies, "Yeah, right. Where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"
A cowboy goes into a bar and sits down next to a lesbian.
He starts to talk with her and she tells him that she is a lesbian.
"What do lesbians like", he asks.
She said, "I like women with long legs, big boobs, a pretty face, and long hair".
She then asked him what he was.
He said, "I thought I was a cowboy, but I must be one of those lesbians too".
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