Has the lion read the book?

Did you hear about the two explorers, Bob and John who were going through the jungle when a ferocious lion jumped out in front of them?

Bob whispered to John to keep calm.

Bob asked John if he remembered what they had read in the book on wild animals.

“If you stand absolutely still and look the lion straight in the eye, he will turn tails and run away,” said Bob.

John said, “Fine. You’ve read the book, I’ve read the book, but has the lion read the book?”

Tarzan's new wee-wee!

Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa. The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan's arm, eye, and dick.

Of course, Tarzan's jungle friends help him out by giving him the parts he needs -- the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a dick.

A while later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him.

"Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee."

"Whys that?"

"It keep taking weeds and shoving in Tarzan's ass."