Funny wife quotes

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
-Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said,“There was water in the carburetor.”
I asked her, “Where’s the car?”
She replied, “In the lake.”
-Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman

Funny marriage quotes

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” — Henny Youngman

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield

“You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.” — Henny Youngman

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together that you wouldn’t have had in the first place if you’d stayed single.