After no dates or sex for five years a woman goes to see Chinese expert sex therapist Dr Chang.
He says "harro! take off all your croase, get down & craw reery reery fast to otherside room"
She does.
"Ok craw reery reery fast back."
As she did Dr Chang shook his head. "Yourr probrem vewy vewy bad, worse case Ed Zachary disease I ever sore, dat why you get no man"
She says "god, what the hell is Ed Zachary disease?"
Doc replies "It's when your face looks Ed Zachery like your ass."
Women say, "All men want is sex." That's not true, ladies. We also want blow jobs and sandwiches.
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money."
A man caught his wife in bed with his best friend.
In anger, he took his gun shot his friend dead.
His wife screamed "If you continue like this, you will lose all your friends.”
Definitions of Designations:-
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!
Sex is like a pack of chips, once you start you can’t stop.
Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it’s gone forever.
Exam paper is like a dick, when it gets hard people get fucked.
Fate is like getting raped, if you can’t fight, learn to enjoy it.
Work is like a group sex, 10 people are behind your ass to take your place.
Education is like hiring a prostitute; it needs both your money and your hard work.
Success is like masturbating, only your own hand can let you achieve it.
An 8 year old boy is accused of rape.
In court his lady lawyer holds his tiny tot out as evidence saying, "Your honour see this, can he rape with this tiny tot?
The boy whispers, "Don't shake it please, we'll lose the case.”
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